Let me take you back...I was a startup founder once. I burned through $1 million trying to build what I thought would be “the one.” It wasn’t about becoming a tech giant or taking the company public. My dream was simpler: create something meaningful that postively impacted the world, see it acquired, and provide for my family.

But that vision never came to life.
My startup ran out of money just weeks before my son, Jax, was born. I spent the final weeks before becoming a father slowly crumbling from the inside. I barely slept, I felt physically ill -- all while trying to keep it together on the outside for the good of my fam.

I kept repeating to myself -- You have a roof over your head, food on the table, and your health -- and in the grand scheme of things, losing your lifes work pales in comparison to having a child.

I went from building something I believed in to scrambling for financial stability. Thankfully, I landed a great job—one that matched my skills and offered security. But even as I stepped into this new chapter, I was left with an empty feeling: I hadn’t accomplished what I set out to do.

That sense of failure lingered. And it pushed me into a constant grind to fill the void.

The Cycle of "Never Enough"

Even with a stable 9-to-5.5 (aka the Product Manager 50+) and the chance to be a present father, I couldn’t shake the feeling that I wasn’t doing enough.

Here’s how it has played out:

• I need to prove myself. Excelling at my Job was never quite enough. I kept looking for multiple new ways to generate income or build something “on the side.” Launch a course, build my mailing list, grow my social presence, write a book, you get the picture. 
• I used productivity as a Band-Aid. The busier I was, the less I had to sit with my feelings of inadequacy.
• I numbed the noise with alcohol. A glass of wine or a beer became a way to quiet the constant hum of “what’s next?”. This also permeated into my downtime on the weekends where I wasn't able to be productive -- if I couldn't be writing, or building -- I needed a drink to slow my brain down.

But here’s the thing: alcohol wasn’t solving anything. And neither was hyper-productivity.

Pulling Back the Curtain

Recently, I made a shift. I’ve been cutting back on alcohol as part of a personal reset (ya boy weighed in at the heaviest he's ever been), and it’s been eye-opening. Without that Band-Aid, I had to confront something uncomfortable:

I was using productivity to mask an identity crisis.

I told myself that achieving more would make me feel “enough.” But in reality, it was making me more anxious, more irritable, and more disconnected from the people who matter most.

What I’m Learning

• Not today Zurg (aka you can't do it all).I’ve realized that I only have 3-5 hours a week to dedicate to anything outside of work and family. And that’s okay. The key is being ruthlessly specific about where those hours go. ACTION: Write a stickynote with any idea or task that doesn't fit in your priority list, put it on a wall you see regularly. I call it my "Not Today Zurg" corner -- its a deep Toy Story 2 reference, my son yells it regulary throughout the house.

• Stop forcing yourself into things you hate. For example, I’ve been trying to create a course—but I hate video production. So why am I doing it? Instead, I’ve decided to lean into what I enjoy, like writing and off-the-cuff audio content so I work on this Newsletter and I record informal teaching interactions with other Dads that I feed into an AI avatar program so I can generate course videos without spending any fucking time editing 

• Examine your “why.” Are you taking action because it aligns with who you are today? Or are you stuck chasing something tied to a past version of yourself? I have a quote tattooed on me: "Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are". Pretty wise 1st tattoo for a 20 year old TBH -- but the thing I think about regularly is that the person you are morphs and changes with experience and circumstance. I may never launch a life changing technology or build generational wealth -- but I do have the opportunity to change people's lives with my words and influence others the only way I know how -- being unapologetically me.

The Big Takeaway

If you’re constantly grinding but still feel like it’s “never enough,” ask yourself this:

• Are you using productivity to avoid something deeper?
• Are you using alcohol or any other distraction to side step the inner conversations?
• Are your actions aligned with your current values—or are they tied to an outdated identity?

Sometimes, the hardest part isn’t doing more. It’s letting go.

You want my unsolicited advice? (Obviously you do becuse you got to the bottom of this post):

Trust that your consistent and intentional presence in each moment is the key to your evolution. Doing that is "ENOUGH".

Your Turn To Take Action

Take 10 minutes this week to audit your time and energy. Where are you forcing yourself to do things that don’t align with who you are today? What could you let go of to focus on what truly matters?

Because at the end of the day, doing less—but doing it with purpose—might just be the most productive thing you can do.