Friday morning was one of those mornings.
I was driving Jax to school, and we were making great time—until 90 seconds into the car ride, when he announced he had to use the potty. Again.
Cue the scramble: pulling over, setting up the portable potty in the back of the car, and trying to keep him focused -- all the meanwhile he's belting “Strange Things” from Toy Story as hes ripping apart the back of the car w/o not a single drop of pee produced.
At first, I texted my wife to vent as Jax finished up the second chorus: “What the flying f**!? -- Not a chance I'm making my 9am with Randy Newman taking his sweet time back here.”
But she reminded me how well he’s doing for being only two weeks into potty training, and that it could be a lot, lot worse.
That simple reminder helped me snap out of frustration mode and reframed my perspective into solution mode. I realized that while some of these moments are unavoidable, there are steps I can take to make mornings less stressful—for him and for me.
The Problem: Mornings Were a Mess
Potty training delays have turned our morning routine upside down. What used to be a reliable schedule now feels chaotic.
Drop-offs are running 20–30 minutes behind, cutting into any semblence of time to prep for 9 a.m. meetings. The stress of rushing Jax while managing his new routines has been triggering—and frankly, exhausting.
I needed a plan.
The Solution: Small Tweaks for Smoother Mornings
Here are a few adjustments I’m making to reclaim some calm:
- Streamline the Evening Routine. I’m responsible for breakfast, smoothies, and packing Jax’s lunch. But instead of scrambling in the morning, I’ll prep everything the night before:
- Batch smoothies for the week.
- Pack his lunch after he goes to bed.
- Declutter the Car. Jax is easily distracted by the basket of snacks, toys, and spare clothes we keep in the car. He’s grabbing everything—except focusing on what we’re there to do. I’m swapping the open basket for one with a lid (so it’s out of sight, out of mind) and removing unnecessary items like his trike.
- Update: My wife told me to kick rocks and that my plan to lock down the back of the car flew in the face of changing his actual behavior. Diff strokes, diff folks, etc. Do I agree?, not at all -- do I respsect my wife's opinion, absolutely. I'll take the L on this one.
- Create a Spartan Setup. When it’s time for the potty, I want the environment to be boring. No distractions. No extras. Just the task at hand. Even if I can't replace the open basket for a proper container with a pad lock.
These changes are small but intentional, designed to save me time and help Jax stay focused.
The Mindset Shift
I’ll be honest: I’m still frustrated when these delays happen. But reframing the situation—reminding myself that Jax is learning, and I’m doing the best I can—has been a game-changer.
I have a rule in life -- if the words "Its not fair" ever come out of my mouth, send me out to pasture.
- Instead of complaining, I’m asking myself: What’s one small thing I can tweak to make this easier next time?
- Use box breathing to calm my own central nervous system while modeling ideal behaviors for Jax (he already does deep breaths when he gets upset, its pretty dope).
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Because let’s face it: potty training is temporary. But how I show up for my family—calm, patient, and prepared—is what sticks.
Takeaway for the Week
Stressful mornings are unavoidable, but they don’t have to derail your entire day. You may not be potty training, but you're probably fighting some other family related fire, or maybe you're still reeling from getting through one last week. Irregardless (I know its not a word, I wrote it to annoy my wife as one of my bits, hope shes reading).
- What’s one small tweak you can make tonight to set tomorrow up for success?
For me, it’s a pre-packed lunch and a distraction-free car. For you, it might be something else entirely.
The goal isn’t perfection. It’s progress.
Time well spent starts with intention. Remember that in the trenches, even if they're soaked with pee.
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